Graham does a few primetime BBC 1 jokes mostly about his guests.
G-No: Before 10pm I'm everybody's best friend but as soon as the clock strikes ten I'm free to take the piss!!! You have been warned; wooohooo! Now, here is the woman of the moment - Lady Gaga!!
Gaga gyrates awkwardly while myriad dancers strut behind her, she shrieks, "Judas! Judas!" in a scene seeming to parody 80s Madonna.
G-No: Wasn't that great everybody! Gaga will be joining us once she's changed into a slightly more awkward outfit!
Sitting on the sofa are Gwyneth Paltrow, Geoffrey Rush and another Irish comedian.
Gwyneth Paltrow: Would you like to try some of my vegetarian paella? I made it especially as I am publicising my new career as a celebrity cook.
G-No: O....K?
Graham, Geoffrey Rush, and the 2nd Camp Irish Comedian take a spoonful each.
Geoffrey Rush: What are those big vegetables?
Paltrow: Artichokes.
G-No: I'd stick to the acting, seriously. Didn't you once set fire to a duck?
Paltrow: Yes, I was spit-roasting some duck and it caught fire. I threw it in the swimming pool.
G-No: Ha. Ha. Great!
2nd Camp Irish Comedian: I'm here to publicise my tour and fill in the gaps when the conversation dips! Once, when I was performing, something funny happened. It was great!
G-No: Hilarious!
Geoffrey Rush: I've got a lonnngg boooring aanecdote fromm the paaaast. It's nottt that funnyy but iitt doooes invooolve nuuudittyyy.
G-No: Great, thanks Geoffrey.
Paltrow: Hey Graham I can rap! Yo MUTHAF###A!
G-No: Whoah! More please!
Paltrow: Yeah MUTHAF###A, f@*# da police! NWA in da house!
G-No: Tee, hee, hee. Extraordinary!
Paltrow: I can rap and cook and sing! I'm a great Mom! I'm hip! I love England, it's so quaint!
Lady Gaga sidles in wearing a Greek Orthodox wedding dress.
G-No: Helllooo Gaagaa!
Gaga: I love my fans!
G-No: You wear such crazy outfits don't you.
Gaga: Yes.
Paltrow: I've been to one of Gaga's concerts. We're buddies.
Gaga: I gave you my THIERRY MUGLER (TM) perfume.
Paltrow: Yes. I thought, 'she smells nice', and I asked her what the scent was that she was wearing.
Gaga: It was THIERRY MUGLER (TM) perfume....which I gave to her. I'm generous and profitable.
G-No: Right.
Gaga: I love my fans sooo much. Don't forget to buy THIERRY MUGLER (TM) perfume everyone!!!
G-No: Actually one of your fans has made a load of tiny doll-sized versions of your most famous outfits.
Gaga: Oh. OK.
G-No: I've got them here.
Gaga: OK. Interesting. I love my fans.
G-No: Now you're going to perform your latest hit aren't you? Everyone it's 'Born This Way'!
Gaga simulates an awkward orgy with her backing dancers in a tub of goo, whilst singing 'Born This Way'. The end credits roll.
