Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Conservative Party Conference 2013 Guidelines for Ministers

Tributes (for people you regard as incompetent or irrelevant)
Your colleagues (brilliant)
Margaret Thatcher (a wonderful woman)
George Osborne (genius/saviour/sage/swami/guru)
David Cameron (great/strong leader)

Attacks (for people who mildly disagree with your policies)
Labour (waste money)
Ed Miliband (socialist/Marxist/communist)
Ed Balls (Stalin)
Liberal Democrats (turncoats)
Trade Unions (evil militants)
Unemployed (scum/scroungers)
Immigrants (thieves/terrorists)
Bureaucrats (hopeless fools who enforce our rules)
European Bureaucrats (lunatics)

Catchphrases (aimed at indecisive voters)
Do the right thing
Hard-working families
Sense of entitlement
Something-for-nothing culture
Aspiration

Topics you must not mention (damaging comparisons)
UKIP
Nigel Farage
John Major
Norman Lamont
Anders Behring Breivik

Topics to avoid if possible (potential for embarrassment)
Boris Johnson
Foreign policy

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